What are five specific things wives can do to engage their husbands fully before, during and after delivery of their child?

This week we watched a power point about marital satisfaction going down after the birth of your children. We were supposed to do a discussion board about different things, I thought I would share what I wrote about the things wives can do specifically to help with the transition of having a child.

What are five specific things wives can do to engage their husbands fully before, during and after delivery of their child?

1.)   Involve your husband in the prenatal appointments; one way you can do this is by scheduling the ultrasound appointments when he can be there. Him being able to be there to see that baby and be part of it will help him feel closer to the baby and feel like he is part of the pregnancy. Also it might be helpful to show how important it is to have him involved. Let him know that you want him there that he matters and is important in the pregnancy process.

2.)   One thing that the power point talked about was making sure you take the time to let your husband feel the baby kick, and explain how it feels and what is going on. As the mother you have the bonding experience of the baby growing, and developing. You get to feel the baby kicking and enjoy the excitement. If you don’t invite you husband to experience it, and explain it to him, he may feel left out! I think this is a very important bonding concept for your husband and the child, as well as between you and your husband as you feel your child growing together.

3.)   Make sure at the delivery that he has priority over other family members. As women we most likely will want our mothers with us to help and comfort us through the birth. However, our husband is also becoming a parent and needs to be needed. He may be nervous and stressed, as well as possibly feeling uneasy about his position in your life with this new member coming to the family. He needs to know that he is needed and important in that exciting and crazy time of birth. He is the father, not just some guy who happens to be involved. I think it is also important to make these boundaries clear before the actual labor.

4.)   After you have the baby it is really important to give him opportunities to bond with the child. Either by letting him get up with the baby, setting aside specific time with him, or just involving him in all the little things. Brother Williams talked about how he would get up and take care of the baby unless they needed fed, this really helped him bond with his children. Things like, bathing, changing, playing, feeding, and cuddling. These things will help him feel close to the baby, but also help you all come closer as a family. There is no ones size fits all, you need to tailor it to your family.

5.)   The last thing is a combination of things. I think it is so important that throughout the whole process you continue to show him and tell him that he is needed. Make efforts to show him you love and need him. Help him feel that he is an irreplaceable part of your life. That your love for your child will never replace your love for him. Show an outpouring of love for him and all he contributes. Never forget to thank him for what he does. Make sure to spend time together as a couple, to bond and be close. As a wife if we do these things I think it will also bless us. These things are not just for him, but for our relationship, the more selfless you are, the better the relationship will be.

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